Seems that some parents in White Plains, New York have sued their local school district, claiming that some of the things the impressionable kiddies were being taught fostered "Satanism, paganism, and New Age religions." The whole thing started when some kids formed a school club to play "Magic: The Gathering." "Magic" is a card game which looks to be a sort of cross between Slap-Jack and "Dungeons and Dragons." Players collect various cards, which they play to have their fictional characters escape from danger, cast spells and the like. Some of the cards show pictures of fairies, elves, and other mythical critters. Some cards have pictures of nasty green demons and the like. I myself would wonder just why the heck the kids were playing card games at school, but these folks chose to go right off the deep end and throw a hissy fit about how the game promotes Satanism.
Now, I've never played "Magic," but I have a cousin and a couple of younger friends who have, and so far they haven't gone over to the Dark Side, although one of them is developing disturbing tendencies towards becoming a Knicks fan. The only magical effect I've seen from this game is that it levitates huge sums of money into the pockets of the game developers. It's true that "Magic" seems to develop into an obsession with some players. They compete to get the "best" cards, constantly discuss strategy, and rehash favorite games. These kids really ought to take up something a lot less addictive. Like golf, for example.
So the school district suspended the "Magic" games, then reinstated them after the principal was assured by "mental health authorities" that no harm was being done. But once the cry of "Witch!" goes up, it's hard to stop the momentum. So the parents, seeing occultism and witchcraft everywhere, sued the school district, claiming their religion was being violated. That's when things got so weird that a goblin or two in the courtroom would look like a welcome dose of reality.
First, of course, they trotted out the old chestnut about how they couldn't pray in school. Hogwash. The law has never been that children can't pray in school, particularly if they had Mrs. Whitman for Algebra 1 like I did. The law just says that teachers or principals can't make kids pray.
Among the things objected to was a class project in which students examined the regurgitated lunch of an owl to determine its dietary habits. I'm still not sure what pagan or New Age belief this is supposed to promote. I've heard of some offbeat faiths, but my studies reveal no religion, pagan or otherwise, based around owl vomit.
One of the plaintiffs deplored the use of "worry dolls" that one shrink suggested the kids put under their pillows to stave off bad dreams. She did not, however, have any objection to the Tooth Fairy. At another classic moment, a self-proclaimed psychic who had taught a session on creativity was asked if she believed that "interspecies communication" was possible. The judge queried ``You mean, like `Come here, Rover, lie down?' "
Nothing seems to escape suspicion. Earth day was "worshipping the creation, not the creator." Stress-reduction exercises taught by a yoga practitioner were sneered at by one seventeen year old as "not my religion, and I don't do deep-breathing exercises." We are not told what religion frowns on deep breathing. We are told, however, that the yoga guy never discussed his religion with the children.
A parent objected to her kid having to make replicas of Aztec idols when studying pre-Columbian Mexico. Sorry, folks, but when you're talking about real "old-time religion" in Mexico, you sooner or later have to confront the reality that before the Spaniards arrived to bring them civilization, gunshot wounds and syphilis, some of the natives were idol-worshippers. Informing students of that fact is not going to have them up on the roof of the gym sacrificing the beating hearts of the cheerleading squad, at least not till Homecoming. Likewise, if we tell the kids that the ancient Egyptians worshipped cats, I doubt they'll start bowing down to the Garfield doll in the back window of the pickup.
It's a common fallacy in these disputes, this idea that if a child is even exposed to a "wrong" idea, it'll dig into his little brain like a burr and turn him into a Satan-worshipping fruitcake. If you've taught your child your beliefs, and really LIVED them so he can see it, he's not going to abandon years of good raising just because some teacher told him about the Aztecs or because he plays some card game about elves and wizards. Maybe we should ALL just take a deep breath.
© 1999 Jerry D. Rhoades, Jr.