Recently, one of America’s most high-profile investigations ended, not with a bang, but with a whimper. Deep in the heart of Texas, US Federal Judge Walter Smith followed an advisory jury’s findings and concluded that the government was absent any wrongdoing in the deaths of 80 Branch Davidians in Waco during the 1993 siege that ended in flaming disaster.

So that’s it, right? That’s the end. No evidence, no case, we can get on with our lives, right?

Don’t you believe it, Bubba. To the die-hard conspiracy buffs and Clinton haters, the very lack of evidence is the most compelling example of how fiendishly clever the conspirators really are. Even now, they’re combing the records for some indication that the fix was in. "Look! One of the guys that brought sandwiches to the judge’s staff has a sister that’s married to an FBI agent! And the sandwich shop is only three blocks from ATF headquarters!"

For some people, it’s just too hard to believe that something as awful as Waco could happen without some kind of evil intent on somebody’s part. For some other people, it’s just too hard to believe that Bill Clinton’s Justice Department could have done anything without being motivated, not just by evil, but by EEEEEEvil.

Former Attorney General Ramsey Clark, who represented several survivors of Waco and their relatives, summed up this mind-set perfectly. "If [the agents’] conduct was so right," Clark asked, "how did it end so very wrong, with so many deaths?"

One word, Ramsey: stupidity.

The "interim report" released in July by Waco Special Counsel John Danforth tactfully sidesteps the question: "While charges of deliberate governmental misconduct justify a far-reaching investigation of this type, there are good reasons why poor judgment—conduct alleged to be careless or imprudent—does not."

Waco was a classic tale of one screwup after another, a cascading series of miscalculations and misjudgments that could only be described by a word not suitable for a family newspaper, an eleven-letter word beginning with "cluster." The ATF staged an armed raid to snag a cult leader they could have picked up on one of his regular morning jogs. The raid had such poor security that local TV cameramen knew about it. One of them stopped to ask directions to the Davidian compound, stating that it was about to be raided. Unfortunately, the person from whom the cameraman was asking directions was one of the Davidians. Despite the fact that the ATF apparently knew its security had been blown like a Firestone tire, they went charging in like a pack of Viking berserkers, with predictable results. Things went downhill from there, ending in an unnecessary assault that violated the government’s own rules and gave the Davidians the chance to become martyrs for the far-right and the conspiracy kooks.

This is not meant to exonerate the Davidians. When you open fire on the cops, don’t get all surprised and indignant when they shoot back. But that doesn’t obscure the fact that the ATF commanders led their troops into that ambush in the first place. Then, to compound the problem, the FBI and the ATF forgot the first rule of siege warfare: wait. No wonder they were not forthcoming with information. They were probably too embarrassed.

It’s hard for people to accept stupidity as the explanation when people get killed. To explain a tragedy of this magnitude, there’s a real emotional need for a villain, not a buffoon.

We need a Darth Vader. You can fight a Darth Vader. Darth Vader can be beaten with enough pluck, a little daring, and a trusty lightsaber, not to mention a good scriptwriter. But what do you do when the people in charge are less like Darth Vader and more like Larry, Curly, and Moe? Oh, sure, you can poke them in the eye or hit them in the face with a banana cream pie, but they’ll be right back again tomorrow, more moronic than ever.

It’s not so difficult to believe when you look around and realize how much raw stupidity there is in the world. Try this simple test. Think of all the people you know that you don’t like. Now, think of how many of those people you would classify as purely evil. Then think of how many of them are complete dolts.

See what I mean?

COPYRIGHT 2000 BY JERRY D. RHOADES, JR.