WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU LEMONS….
MEMO TO: Pierre Gagnon, President and Chief Operating Officer, Mitsubishi USA
FROM: Bob Peters, Executive VP in charge of marketing
RE: Consumer Reports
As you know, Consumer Reports has rated the Montero Limited as "unsafe" because they claim the vehicle is prone to tip over in sudden emergency lane changes. Even though there are no reports of actual rollover injuries or deaths involving the Montero Limited, this test and the publicity around it run a risk of severely compromising our sales in the American market.
The prevailing opinion within the company is that we should call in the lawyers and file a lawsuit for defamation. This strategy, however, would result in a long and expensive court battle, which will be extensively reported on the news. In that instance, we can pretty much count on constant repetition of the footage of the Montero tipping up on two wheels and nearly rolling over during the test.
Others within the company have suggested that we should redesign the vehicle so it doesn’t tip over. These people are wusses.
Pete (can I call you Pete?), you’re always saying we should "think outside of the box". In that spirit, I’d like to propose another strategy. I want us to radically rethink the way we market the Montero Limited, so that we can turn this fiasco into an advantage.
I’ve taken the liberty of contacting Mr. Arnold Flamm, of the advertising firm of Flimm, Flamm, and Boozle, who has come up with a marketing campaign that confronts the problem head on. Here’s one of the proposed ad scripts:
VIDEO MONTAGE: Snowboarders doing aerial rolls, mountain bikers going over jumps, bungee jumpers leaping off of bridges, etc. Hard rock music in the background, maybe something by Metallica or Limp Bizkit.
VOICEOVER: You don’t follow the herd. You live life as it’s meant to be lived, right on the edge. Now Mitsubishi Motors has come up with an SUV for your cutting-edge, in-your-face lifestyle.
VIDEO CLIP: Montero roll-over tests showing vehicle almost tipping over. CUT TO: Young male driver inside vehicle. He is whooping with excitement. (Casting note: driver should have a least three days of beard stubble).
VOICEOVER and CAPTION: Mitsubishi Montero Xtreme. It’s not your Mama’s SUV.
FADE TO BLACK
Basically, what we’re proposing here is a shift in strategy that will target the Montero to young males instead of the usual family SUV consumer. Mountain Dew’s’ "Do the Dew" campaign has shown that young men apparently respond best to a product that is somehow associated with insanely reckless behavior, even if the biggest risk they take in real life is the risk of carpal tunnel syndrome from playing eight straight hours of "Motocross Madness 2" on the Playstation. This makes the re-named Montero Xtreme the perfect product to target to these young, faux-adventurous consumers.
The marketing strategy for the Montero Xtreme might also help us on the legal front. If we sell the vehicle as risky and edgy, we can use this as a defense if we ever do get sued due to rollover accidents, by pointing out that the consumer knew the vehicle was dangerous when they bought it. I’m willing to bet that if the cigarette companies had followed this strategy by saying, in effect, "yeah, they’re dangerous. That’s why they’re cool," they wouldn’t be in the mess they’re in now.
In addition to the renaming of the vehicle, we would need to make an effort to change people’s style of driving to reflect the actual advantages of the Montero. As you’re aware, the greatest danger of rollover occurs when the vehicle makes sudden emergency lane changes, such as those made to avoid a collision. However, one of the main reasons that people buy an SUV in the first place is because, in the event of an actual collision, the driver and passengers experience enhanced survivability compared to drivers of non-SUV’s. Put plainly, in a collision between an SUV and, say, a Geo Metro, the SUV driver is likely to come out on top, as it were, unless they roll the vehicle trying to avoid the collision. So what we should be telling drivers, through additional ads and possibly an amended owner’s manual, is that in an emergency situation, they should not try to avoid collision, but should instead just plow right on in. Go for the gusto, as it were. (By the way, I’ve asked the staff to look into whether the slogan "go for the gusto" is still under copyright.)
Please review the attached scripts and let me know your thoughts.
Regards, Bob
Dusty Rhoades lives in Carthage, practices law in Aberdeen, and, amazingly, never went to business school.
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COPYRIGHT 2001 BY JERRY D. RHOADES, JR.