THE CONGRESSIONAL PIG-PICKING
NOTE: One of my fellow columnists seems to feel that I am being somewhat less than respectful when I refer to the President of these United States as Dubbya. Now, word is that the President in question delights in hanging nicknames on other people whether they like it or not. There’s also the fact that that other folks have called him "Dubbya" for years in his home state. But hey, far be it from me to offend anybody. Therefore, I will not being referring to the POTUS using that word anymore. At least this week.
Well, President Shrub has fired the opening salvo in the latest battle, and it looks like it’s going to be a long and nasty one. Will this battle be fought in the tropic jungles of the Philippines? The burning sands of Iraq? The rugged hills of Korea?
Nope, this latest slugfest is going down in the well of the House and the Senate chamber. And the bomb that the Bushmeister dropped was his 2,718-page, 2.13 trillion dollar budget proposal.
Understandably, Defense is a major priority in the budget. ''Our military has a new mission for the 21st century,'' Bush the Younger said at Eglin Air Force Base in Florida. ''History has called us into action, and we will not stop until the threat of global terrorism has been destroyed.'' The military, therefore gets a 15 % increase. Fair enough, especially if a good chunk of it goes to housing and pay raises.
But according to ABCNEWS.com, spending for the Pentagon and Energy Department nuclear weapons work would also rise 34% to $470 billion between now and 2007. I’m not exactly who we’ll be lobbing these nukes at in the fight against terrorists, unless we decide to use the strategic principle technically known as "nuke ‘em all and let Allah sort ‘em out". It’s an appealing strategy at first glance, but the cleanup afterwards is a bit of a problem.
Another priority is "homeland defense". In dollars and cents , that means 38 billion simoleons to equip and train emergency workers, prepare for bioterrorism attacks and supply everyone with those little "how do you recognize suspicious mail" flyers.
So where does Bush II hope to find money for these priorities? Well, here’s where the real battle begins. The Bushinator has taken aim at what he calls "pork-barrel" projects. (In Congress-speak, of course, the definition of what separates a "pork-barrel" project from a legitimate need of the citizenry is this: "pork" is federal money that goes to someone else’s district.) Bush, the Next Generation, hopes to persuade the Congress to give up over 7,800 of these pet projects. Well, I’d like to persuade former "ER" babe Julliana Margulies to give me my next physical, but it’s about as likely to happen.
Even if the Bush-man got everything he wanted, we’re looking at an $80 billion budget deficit, on top of a $106 billion deficit for this year. The rosiest projections in this budget do not show a return to surpluses until 2005. Hard to believe a year ago, we were debating how to best utilize a projected 5.6 trillion dollar surplus over 10 years.
But, of course, the Bushster will not get everything he wants. No President ever does. The Democrats immediately fired back, criticizing the budget for "taking us back down the road to deficits and debt." Of course, the Dems don’t have their own budget proposal, at least not yet. And no one, of course, is crazy enough to say that the recently enacted tax cuts should be repealed. When our own junior Senator was pressed on the issue of repealing the tax cut, he hemmed and hawed and eventually allowed as how that shouldn’t happen, but that the President should show "leadership." He’s been there just three years and Handsome Johnny already speaks fluent Buzzword. We’re all SO proud of him.
So what will happen? Well, the two sides will do what they always do: bicker and dicker and trade this expenditure for that program, this unwanted supply ship built in one lawmaker’s home state for that unneeded highway built in another’s. And the result, as always, will be a "compromise" in the form of another hideous, bloated whale of a budget. Because the truth hidden in the budget wheeling and dealing is that no one—Republican or Democrat—really wants to see budget cuts if those cuts affect their districts. To get the votes to pass a budget, every Senator and Congressman, Republican or Democrat, is going to need their little piece of the pork pie to take home to his or her constituents. "Compromise" in the context of budgets, doesn’t ever involve any lawmaker giving anything up; it invariably means everybody gets a little something, and the country gets saddled with more deficits.
It will be interesting to see if Congress’ dedication to this war on terrorism extends to wanting to sacrifice a few of their pet projects to pay for it. Anyone want to make any bets?
Dusty Rhoades lives in Carthage, practices law in Aberdeen, and says keep those cards and letters coming.BOOKS-N-BYTES (OUR GRACIOUS HOST)
COPYRIGHT 2002 BY JERRY D. RHOADES, JR.