It seems that advertising is everywhere these days. It started, I think, when every facet of a sporting event had to have its own sponsor: The Budweiser Halftime report, the Burger King Player of the Game, etc. Then the sports arenas themselves were no longer named after great coaches or players, but instead took the names of corporations , who paid a pretty penny to have their name emblazoned across the entryways. Entertainment also became even more advertising obsessed than it was already. Movies featured so-called "product placement", where a character is seen conspicuously consuming Coca-Cola, or eating at McDonald’s, or using the product of whatever company has helped foot the bill. Even rock and roll, formerly the music of anti-establishment rebels and misfits, has gone corporate, with tours are frequently sponsored by big corporations.

The idea of sponsorship has even worked its way down to the individual level. Seems that a growing trend among young people tying the knot these days is—you guessed it-- the "sponsored wedding." Young women (many of whom, for one reason or another are forced to foot the bill themselves) are using this method to pay for their hitching. Here's how they work: Businesses provide various wedding needs (flowers, invitations, photographer, food, etc.) or underwrite some of the expenses in exchange for publicity. The publicity may take the form of a thank-you to the participating companies in the couple's wedding program, a sponsors' table at the reception where guests can pick up company brochures, business cards and the like, or just simple exposure (for example, the name of the company prominently displayed on the side of the horse-drawn carriage or limousine provided by the sponsor). For the businesses, it's a means of advertising.

I confess, when I first read about this, I was aghast, not to mention appalled and agog. But then I thought, hey, why not? It’s a way to get the nuptials paid for, and no one gets hurt.

Then I started thinking, which is usually a dangerous pastime for me. We’re having a serious budget crunch in this state, and the court system is particularly hard-hit. There was even a proposal a few moths ago to close the courthouses entirely one day a week. If anything, even a wedding can receive corporate sponsorship, why not our beleaguered court system? Imagine the possibilities:

BAIILIFF: Oyez oyez oyez! This session of Superior Court is brought to you by Shoney’s, where the verdict is always delicious food. The Honorable Judge T.R. Pennebaker presiding.

JUDGE: Thank you Sheriff. Mister District Attorney, call the first case.

D.A.: Your honor, the state’s first case is State vs. Arnold Portzebie, and it’s brought to you by Budweiser, who reminds you to drink responsibly. Don’t drink and drive, like this sorry SOB did.

DEFENSE LAWYER: Objection!

JUDGE: Yes, counselor?

LAWYER: First, your honor, this objection is brought to you by Hancock Ford…you’ll never object to our deals!

JUDGE: Thank you, counselor. Your objection?

LAWYER: Ummmm..sorry, I forgot it. Objection withdrawn.

JUDGE: Very well, the State may call its first witness.

D.A.: The first witness is Officer Jones, brought to you by Mother Maloney’s Bran Muffins. Four out of five law enforcement officers pick Mother Maloney’s over doughnuts!

JUDGE: Really? Is that true?

D.A.: Well, it’s not like I’m under oath or anything. Anyway, Officer Jones, can you describe how you apprehended the Defendant?

OFFICER: On the fifth day of May the defendant was seen leaving a party in a brand new Ford Mustang GT, equipped with a powerful 4.6 Liter V-8. I attempted to pull the subject over, and he left the scene with the type of acceleration you can only get from a single overhead cam engine delivering an impressive 260 horsepower and 302 foot-pounds of torque.

D.A.: So he was able to evade you at first?

OFFICER: Yes, but eventually we located the suspect eating breakfast at a local Denny’s –Great Food, Great Service, Great People, Every time!

D.A: What happened then?

OFFICER: When we attempted to apprehend him, he pulled a .38 caliber Smith and Wesson revolver. Smith and Wesson—an American tradition!

D.A.: Boy, I’ll bet you were glad that your life insurance was paid up with Northwestern Mutual--the Quiet Company!

OFFICER: You betcha!

Admittedly, the idea is a little unusual. But a system for administering justice is like everything else provided by the government: Everyone wants it, but no one wants to pay for it. So why not look to the same model that’s made American radio and television what it is today?

Okay, maybe that’s a bad example.

Dusty Rhoades lives in Carthage, practices law in Aberdeen, and this column is brought to you by (THIS SPACE FOR RENT).

COPYRIGHT 2002 BY JERRY D. RHOADES, JR.