If you've ever taken a fee in the form of livestock, produce, or a bass boat . . .You might be a redneck lawyer.

If negotiations in your last domestic case broke down over the issue of who was going to pay to have the trailer his Mama gave him moved off her Daddy's land . . .You might be a redneck lawyer.

If you've ever defended someone for DWI on (1) a horse, (2) a John Deere tractor, or (3) a four wheeler . . . You might be a redneck lawyer.

If you've ever done a land transaction where the property description starts with: "BEGINNING at a pine stump down the creek a ways from where Bubba Poteat's Mama used to live." . . .You might be a redneck lawyer.

If your paralegal has more than three tattoos . . .You might be a redneck lawyer.

If you've ever gone to divorce court to meet women . . . You might be a redneck lawyer.

If you've ever quoted George Jones in a closing argument . . . You might be a redneck lawyer.

If you've ever defended a murder charge on the grounds that "the sumbitch needed killing", and won . . .You might be a redneck lawyer.

Y'all run along HOME, now.