Eileeeeeen from OH, 11/5

Arrived D.C. after perilous flight on PROP airline that held maybe 20 people.

Not especially reassuring to have parachute-wearing flight attendant request that some people move to the rear of the airplane to "balance" it. I comply but draw the line at being strapped to the wing.

Met KS at airport as pre-arranged and we shared cab to hotel which cost only slightly less than airfare. Dissuade her from giving copy of Blindsighted in lieu of tip despite cabbie's assurance that he loves books that are thrillers and cozies and anything you want it to be.

Arrive, meet many of the RAMily who were busily carving names onto bar stools. Suspicious about this "Jim Barker" who has "lost his voice" and NOT wearing a kilt and has apparent zero knowledge of bagpipes and heather and is unable to even HUM "How Are Things in Gloccamorra." We walk to dinner en masse to a restaurant that subsequently posted a "No Shirts, No Shoes, No RAM, No Service" sign in window. We walk back, after fashioning a litter to bear Elloon, who was handicapped by stilletto heels. Return to hotel bar. Wait staff begins casting lots, gnashing teeth, and renting garments.

Next day judi, carleen and I venture forth on the Metro to go to the Holocaust Museum. Discover judi does not like trains, or rather those that go underground. Carleen and I convince her we are really above ground but there is a solar eclipse. judi appears to believe. Museum is very moving, and touching, and intense. Return trip by train, judi appears to believe "eclipse aftershock" theory. More libations, dinner, libations and a session of playing games during which it is discovered that Mary "Cheers" Askew is a big, honking cheat.

Next day is Tart panel, which does indeed begin with a detailed description of seafaring sex with aquatic animals but which is steered, luckily, into a good discussion about what-Beth-already-told-you.

I take nap and have bizarre dream about going to prom with Flipper. Time for RAM party. Wait staff wearing flak jackets. Bill Burgess arrives to cries of "Magic Buns" (ala "Norm" on Cheers) while Bill's wife Maggie looks puzzled and non RAM patrons adjust chairs in anticipation of what must obviously be floor show. Group photo with all saying "Um, no" in honor of absent Jane Haddam. Little Jimmy spotted with nose against glass, a single tear running down wan little face.

Next day I hit some panels (including an hysterical one chaired by Dorothy Cannell doing a spot on impersonation of that awful "Weakest Link" woman. It was a complete spoof of it and included "voting" off authors who were sitting in the audience) Also, I went to a great panel on screenwriting (after I finish this I plan to start work on "Moby Was A Dick.") Went on a quest to get signatures on books purchased. Had terrific Thai dinner with KS, Beth, M'Lou, Carleen, and Elloon (who I carry, papoose-style, on my back, to the hotel.)

More fun and games in bar, including a rousing round of "Embarass Patricia's Husband Whose Name is Sorn But We Call Him Sven and/or Bjorn Because We Want To Dammit." I am finally convinced that Jim Barker is REALLY Jim Barker because his voice is back and he was drawing cartoons, but mostly because he produced a bottle of this heavenly, totally orgasmic after-dinner Scottish drink called Heather Something and he gave me what was left of the bottle that I didn't slug down.

Stayed up far too late again and was able to sleep during flight, despite spotting rosary beads duct-taped to fuselage.

Was a terrific time with some great people. Authors of note were our Stephen Booth and Elfin Button, Val McDermid, Laura Lippman, and Russell James who I accosted like a cheap floozy on Carleen's behalf. Too many RAMmers to mention here and I think Beth covered that and I'm sorry I didn't get to talk deeply and thoughtfully with all. But I thoroughly enjoyed the ones I met for the first time and renewing acquaintances with others.

Eileeeeeen from OH, checking in