----------

The rain still fell steadily as Detective Jacoby stood over the dead body. A woman. Short cropped hair in a pageboy style. She was dressed in some sort of chain mail body armor, not that it helped her any. She sported an aluminum shaft protruding from the small of her back. The fold out tips of the shafts head ripped a hole through her midsection any .38 slug would be proud of. She was lying in the shadows of a doorway two buildings down from our office. I couldn't swear she was headed our way, but it couldn't be ruled out. Andi's the ex-cop so I let her do all the work at the crime scene. It lets me root around in the background. You get a lot of good stuff that way. Once I found a dollar!

----------

"Pam, what can you tell me?" Andi had pulled Jacoby over to a quiet corner of the mini-circus that is a crime scene.

"Well, obviously this isn't your run of the mill hit. A crossbow fer Gawds sake!" Jacoby shook her head. "I haven't seen an exit wound that ugly since we were partners. Remember the "Knave of Hearts" case! That crazy bastard held those three chick writers hostage for three days! -till you dropped him cold with that... but I digress!"

"Pam, the body?" Andi prodded.

"Yeah, the body! Well lamp that Get-up wouldja! Joan of freakin' Arc Lives! er, lived anyway. I shouldn't tell you a thing... but Leticia Cornwallis is doing the M.E. work on this one! You know, the "Crimefighting Pathologist" The governor is involved and he insisted she take this one. Here's the thing. When the local boys examined the crime scene they found a note in the victims hand, it read only..."regards"

"Regards"? Andi asked. "What the hell is "regards"?

Pam looked about conspiratorially, "there's more... she was clutching a length of fabric, terry cloth I think."

Andi's eyes grew wide. "Like maybe a... sash?"

Jacoby lit up a cigarette, the flair from the match accented the hardened lines of experience and her sardonic grin of cynicism that makes most boys flee and most men stay. "Sash?" she repeated. "Yeah like a curtain... no, a belt, like a robe tie!" That's exactly what it was! Guess you get the gold star, now what the hell does it mean?"

"I don't know Pam. I just don't know!" But Andi thought just maybe she did know and she didn't like what she knew!

----------

"Joan" might have heard the conversation, but if she did she didn't add to it. The rain continued to fall on us as she was zipped into a dry dark bag. Her arm dangled out and had to be gently placed inside. The odd ring on her finger caught my eye. Quite ugly actually, some kinda black stone with an initial on it. I made a quick mental post-it as they slipped her hand inside. "Joan" didn't complain.

----------

Mr. Baker sat patiently in the luxury of the town car. He left the motor running but no one walking by would know that. It ran that quietly. He popped in a tape. The car stereo played a familiar zither tune he enjoyed. It made him feel nostalgic for his homeland. Although he didn't know why. His homeland sported loud drinking songs and blindingly loud brass bands playing to meek and ineffective royalty. Maybe it was the soundtrack of his youth. The years spent abroad silently carrying out his instructions and moving on to the next assignment. Ah well, no sense thinking this to death. That thought made him chuckle. He picked up a cell phone the size of a Zippo lighter.

Punching the tiny buttons he dropped the damn thing under the seat. "Sod it! Silly trinkets I have to work with!" -as he groped around under the seat a bright eyed brunette on a nice set of pins wandered by, her face a map of concentration.

"Jenni said the address was 1142 Meen st." she thought, "ah here it is, 1142... cozy!" She turned, then stopped to scrape something foul off her shoe. She didn't want to know what she may have trod in. As she scrambled up the stairs past the sleeping giant on the landing she wondered why Jenni had called her in on this one.

Baker found the phone lodged firmly behind the break pedal. He sighed as he retrieved it and started the dialing process again. A ghostly hand reached for a gold leaf French phone, complete with lions rampant holding the receiver. "Yes."

"Baker here, Is Dorothy accepting calls?"

"No, Dorothy is down at this time." the voice replied.

"Then tell Mari, dinner is almost ready." Baker said.

"Mari understands and will send in the drinks cart. You have served us well."

Baker gave his head a tilt, "As always m'lady. As always!" The line gently went quiet. He clicked shut the tiny toy phone and rolled down the window with the push of a button. He drew back to toss the damn thing into the street, then grew nostalgic. He looked closely at the phone, the odd graphic etched into the side made him wonder. "Texas?" he thought. He tossed it up and caught it in his fist, then dropped it into his jacket pocket. Putting the car in gear the zither music followed him into the gathering rain.

"What the HELL are you doing!" Rhoades bellowed!

The hotel room was thick with steam and he could barely make his way to the bathroom door. He opened it and was freshly steam cleaned by a rolling cloudbank of superhot vapor. "It's like a goddam SAUNA in here!"

"It's good for my cold," Charlie croaked!

"Good for your cold! I'll give you GOOD FOR MY COLD! My suit is ruined! I'm wearing a prune out here!

"Buy a new suit Rhoadsey! It ain't like you can't afford it!" Charlie muttered.

"New suit. I hate you. This is all your fault! I'm stuck in an escalating nightmare with a dying frog and now my suit..." Rhoades sat down on the bed and pushed his wet hair back out of his eyes. "Why did you ever get us into this? We had a good thing going. Why did you smash it up so bad?"

Koff koff... "You know why, you TOLD me to!" Charlie whispered.

"Not that again." Rhoades muttered.

"Yes "THAT AGAIN" you told me what to do and then you panicked when I did what you couldn't do!" Charlie was working himself up into a lather. "You PLAINLY said to ME -and I quote... Gramps needs to go on a little vacation! Gramps needs to be taken care of! Gramps was a little too smart for his own good! NOW, DO YOU DENY saying those EXACT words to me?"

"Jesus Charlie..." Rhoades started.

"So stop it! I did what you couldn't. I'm the one who goes down for this if Karin talks, so... just... stop it!"

Rhoades sat quietly with his head in his hands wondering about the future. "Does the killing ever stop", he thought. "Gramps finds out the truth so we kill him, Karin finds out about that so now we kill her too! Do we just keep killing 'til it's only him and me? Then what? ...madness!"

Vic was limping back to Schwad's for a snack. He thought about Razz and pondered what that little confab might mean for his future. He looked up in time to leap back onto the sidewalk. The jet black London bus rounded the corner on two wheels. As it leveled out the sound of symbols and a drum set collapsing was heard.

It pulled down Meen and turned on one of the side streets. Pulling down the alleyway it stopped behind "AU" (pronounced; "HEY YOU!") the bar of choice for the louder and rowdier of Meen's citizenry.

Vic scratched his head. He knew scratching one's head was pretty cliché' when things didn't make sense. but he couldn't help it, all this rain was making his head itch.

Nearly back to Schwad's he had to dodge another vehicle. This one was a metallic green landrover with the words "Hurricane 7" painted on the side. It pulled up to Schwad's and several women in business attire clambered out. They were wearing very short linen skirts and ultra sheer blouses under their tailored linen jackets. All wore stiletto heels.

"Corporate tease Barbies" Vic thought. "What the Hell is Hurricane 7" he further thought.

He saw Carol was taking orders and he approached the closest Barbie.

"Hurricane 7?" he asked.

"Look girls! Julie! We have a groupie?" she hollered in a strangely un-American, un-British accent.

"Too right Bethany!" the tall blonde snapped back, "Does he want an autograph? Or does he want to get a little... UNRULY!"

From a high window Razz looked on while AU minions raised the sign in place. "BOOZER-ON!" the yearly festival of music and debauchery.

"Another year's gone by already?" he asked of no one in particular.

As the bus ticked to a stop behind AU, a collection of AU workers gathered around the door. They looked like extras from a much cheaper remake of Mad-Max. As they nudged closer the doors hissed open. Stepping out of the gloom was a small blonde woman wearing a multi buckled leather catsuit. She was holding a shaker in one hand and a martini in the other. "I vould shpeak vith ze boss!" she spat out.

They motioned to a camera. "Ah, zhat is goot! Keeping ze EYE on sings ya!" She nodded to the camera which seemed to follow her. "I vould prezent ze starz of zhis yearz "BOOZHER-ON" Mister Agent Orangze und his Fetid Barkink Shpiderz!" Three men shambled out of the bus. One wearing a Reds jacket and the other two sporting beards that rivaled ZZ-Top. They looked more like programmers than rockers.

A goon stepped forward, he was wearing a wireless headset, "Mr. Volkman wants to know who YOU are."

"You may call me... MISTRESS JUDI!" She took long slow strides back into the bus knowing the camera followed her every move. Before she sealed the doors she poured a glass and raised it in a toast to the camera.

"What library book?" Andi was in deep argument with the brunette at the office door.

"It's from the permanent collection. It's recorded as checked out to Mr. Salem two years ago. It's really quite expensive or I wouldn't have been sent her personally." She pulled out a small laminated i.d. [Susan Kelso: Acquisitions and Recovery Agent grade 2]

"Aren't you a little big for a second grader?" Andi quipped.

"Grade 2 means I'm a field operative. Look, is Mr. Salem here or not?" she was about to continue when Vic approached.

"He is here and ready for anything Miss...?"

"Kelso, Susan Kelso..." she turned and was stopped dead by his appearance. His bomber jacket was gone and his shirt had been ripped apart. One whole leg of his pants was torn free leaving his heart covered boxers exposed. Blue, red and pink smears covered his body, he looked like someone tried to fax him someplace.

"Mr... Salem?" she asked, the question itself crowded with additional questions.

"I met up with the wrong end of an Australian Rock Group. Apparently I'm a fan." He spread his arms so they could get a complete look at his state of disrepair.

Undaunted, Kelso launched into her spiel, "I'm here about the book Mr. Salem. I'm authorized to search the premises if I have to."

"Oh you're 'authorized' are you? first off what book and second off WHAT BOOK? I'm having an unbelievably bad day lady and the last time I went to a library..." something caught his eye and held it. "Lemme see that ring!" He pulled her hand up to his face. She countered by flipping him through the air and slamming him on his back. He opened his eyes to a strange sight indeed. Kelso had him covered with a sig sauer 232 pressed against his nose, Andi in turn had Kelso in a headlock with her Glock 9 pressed against her temple. Both women looked as intense as young brides at a dress sale.

Vic was in so much pain he was seeing not only stars but stripes, "How can I help you, Miss... Kelso was it? A book you say? Let me just let you inside and we'll discuss this situation fully and completely."

Andi screamed, "DROP IT LADY! I SWEAR TA GAWD I'LL PAINT THE WALLS WITH YOUR HEAD!"

The air was electric with tension as the players slowly considered there next moves. They were a study in stationary tension.

"I have an idea." Vic offered extremely meekly.

"I'm listening." Kelso said as a single drop of sweat ran down her cheek, along her neck and disappeared beneath her blouse.

"Vic? what are you doing?" Andi asked.

"I'm going to plead with everyone to move away from each other slowly as I count to three and we can reconvene in the psuedo-kitchen without guns. Does that sound good? 'Cause I really want that to sound good!"

Andi poured more coffee as Vic studied Kelso's gun. "What's this inscription?"

"Just Dewey it!" Kelso laughed, "My husband had it done for me when I made grade two."

"So..." Andi started, "Jenni called you in with some bizzare story about an overdue book?"

"Well, She's done this before. Grade two agents have to account for all activity due to the fact that the library has got to be able to deny all culpability in the event our actions are ever detected." She swallowed a swig of black coffee. "It's all very 'MISSION IMPOSSIBLE' stuff!" she made the bunny rabbit quote signs and laughed. "it ain't all Storytime and Stamp the cards! We have a sworn duty to protect the resources available! Interoffice loan agents like myself can be in deep cover for months at a time! I remember getting stuck working at a BORDERS just to catch a UPS scammer who sold off books to a used shop. Boy did THAT suck!"

Vic rubbed his back.

"Hey I'm sorry about that. It's just reflex. If not for your partner here you two would be what we call unfortunate statistics at this point. You're really quite good Andrea!" Kelso smiled.

"Hey I like my work!" Andi smiled back as she studied the ring in the light of the psuedo-kitchen. "This group you belong to, is it nationwide?"

"It's worldwide, but it has nothing to do with my Library work." Kelso explained, "It's like a lodge but not that structured. I can't really tell you more. It's kinda members only." She made the rabbit quote signs again and smiled ear to ear.

"A women's group?" Vic asked.

"Why would you assume that?" Kelso volleyed, the smile gone.

"Just a guess. Any men involved?" he pushed on.

"Yes actually there are men, women, all walks of life, all..." she paused.

"What?"

"Well, now that you ask, and I can't tell you much, but there is a faction..." She was interrupted by a cricket chirp. She pulled out a stamp sized phone. "Just a second... DM?! How'd you know... No..."

A second phone rang. This time a real phone. Vic answered it. "Salem and Schecter. Salem speaking."

"Mister Salem. I believe you have had some dealings recently with my cousins..." the voice said.

"It's HER!" Vic hissed under his breath as he motioned to Andi who sprang into action, flipping on recording equipment.

"I want to speak with you. It's vitally important I speak with you!" she continued.

"You ARE speaking with me! I'm speaking, you're speaking, you're speaking WITH me!" he said.

"ha ha ha ha..." she laughed joylessly.

"Karin? Where are you? Where would you like to meet?" he offered.

"So you are in league with my cousins. This is bad for you. I'll tell you now if you don't know this you should. They are dangerous, dangerous men. If you think you can trust them you... are a fool!"

"Karin. I won't lie to you. They have been here and they have hired me to find you. Give me a chance here to do my job. I'll listen to what you have to say, just tell me where you are!"

"She sits in the pen waiting for the butcher. NO! I'll tell YOU where to wait. The club down the street from you, the loud one?"

Vic swallowed hard, "Burke's Bar?" he offered weakly knowing it was the wrong answer.

"No, the other one. The LOUD one, AU! I'll meet you there tonight past 10." She hung up.

"Great! yeah! good! Great! AU! Great! 10! Great! See ya then!"

Vic dropped the phone on the floor and it bounced.

Kelso seemed oblivious to the surrounding conversation as she closed her phone and gently picked up her ring. She eyed it with renewed interest, turning it this way, then that, finally holding it slightly away from her as if it was a dead rat, pointing it's great onyx dot away from herself. "I have to go." she said quite stiltedly. "I thought I could help you, but I can't. Please tell Jenni I'm sorry, but a situation has arisen and I just have to go. I hope you can understand." she smiled as she backed towards the door.

Andi stood up, seeing things for what they were... "Oh, well, alright, then, sorry about the gunplay and all. Let's do it again when we can! Susan, one more question, what's the "L" stand for?"

She moved to the door and tossed a scrap of paper on the floor and pointed to it. "Yeah! We'll do this again soon! I promise! Best of luck with the... thing there!" and then she was gone.

Vic stood totally crestfallen, staring down at his shredded clothing, his body covered with bruises and lipstick. "AU... we have to go to AU tonight. Tonight of all nights! The BOOZER-ON starts tonight!..." He quietly began to weap."

Andi picked up the paper, "Butter, eggs, soap, catfood." She looked around and scratched her head. "A grocery list?" she shrugged, "It's just a list."

Karin opened the shockproof case and quickly assembled and disassembled a titanium crossbow. She pulled out two shafts and held them up to the fading light of the window. She pushed her fingertip against the arrow point and slowly pressed until blood ran down her finger. Then she dialed the phone...

Rhoades picked up on the first ring. Nervously he spoke, "H-hello?"

"Oh thank GOD! I thought Charlie would answer! He's insane! I think he may have killed Gramps! I really do! I really do! I need to talk with you tonight!" She babbled.

"Calm down Karin. He's not here right now. What are you talking about? Gramps died in his sleep the coroner said so! What makes you think Charlie would DO such a thing?"

"Just come talk to me! I'm at a bar downtown on Meen street. It's called 'AU'. It's very loud and crowded, we can be alone and speak privately here!" she spoke between sobs. "I can't stay out here alone. I'm so scared!"

"Don't cry. I'll be there! I'll get there as soon as I can, just don't leave! Don't leave!"

She hung up the phone. The rain made rivulets on the glass of the window, but she could still see clearly across the street into the hotel. "Stupid boys, don't even draw the blinds. Such a simple thing blinds, 3.2.1. you're safe. Behind the blinds. She turned and noticed how the rain was sluicing into the bougainvillea. She thought if they had installed a system 870-A the poor plant wouldn't get so much soil washed away. -but those days were over.

"It all goes as planned Karin." a leather chairback spoke to her. It seems your little problem will soon be solved. Then you will help me solve mine. The chair slowly spun around and the two stared into each others eyes.

They laughed, "ha ha ha ha..."